“I got into comedy to do comedy, which is weird I know.”

“But when you’re in Hollywood and you’re a comedian everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy.”

“They say ‘Alright you’re a stand-up comedian: Can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.’”

“They want me to do things related to comedy but not comedy. That’s not fair.”

“It’s as though I was a cook and I worked my ass off to become a good cook and they said: ‘Alright, you’re a cook—can you farm?’”

—Mitch Hedberg