17 replies

1. Noah Liebman 3 min later

   @zachleat lighthouse scores are unsigned ints. Once they try to go below 0 it’s back to blazing fast!

2. catraxx 6 min later

   @zachleat Yes, sir. Adding more.

3. James Finley 12 min later

   @zachleat The DOM is the problem, Zachary, my man! If we just render the whole page with Canvas we can avoid that. We’ll have to ship before we figure out the a11y problem, but we can always figure that out latter. Blind people only make up like 1% of the population, anyway.

   1. Zach Leatherman 29 min later

      @thefinley this satire is grounded in entirely too many real things that have been said by folks

      1. James Finley 33 min later

         @zachleat You and me both, my friend. You and me both.

4. Dave 🧱 26 min later

   @zachleat same energy https://youtu.be/lmmp7fGAgRg

   1. Zach Leatherman 31 min later

      @DavidDarnes we should cancel mr bean

      1. Dave 🧱 41 min later

         @zachleat I think the actor already has bee(a)n

5. Alesandro Ortiz 🇵🇷🏳️‍🌈 37 min later

   @zachleat I want to frame this post.

6. Avalynn Gunn 🇵🇸 3 hr later

   @zachleat I'm actually experiencing this with hydration re-rendering LCP, with enough throttling LCP timing is good again 🙃🫠

   1. Zach Leatherman 3 hr later

      @clarkgunn ha! pre-JS LCP must be fine as long as hydration takes long enough? 😅

      1. Avalynn Gunn 🇵🇸 3 hr later

         @zachleat yup, so happy with the "throw everything away and re-render" programming model.

         1. Zach Leatherman 3 hr later

            @clarkgunn *runs away*

7. ThomasAPowell 4 hr later

   @zachleat this feels like it needs a Kylo Ren Moar meme or a Leo Inception Go Deeper meme. Make this an Epic Modern Web Shit Post Zach … you can do it ! 😝

   1. Zach Leatherman 4 hr later

      @thomasapowell NOTHING IN MODERATION

8. meduz' 6 hr later

   @zachleat We should store the JavaScript in the favicon. This way when the website icon is displayed in Google’s results list, it magically preloads the JavaScript!

   1. Zach Leatherman 6 hr later

      @meduz this is a super villain origin story